53 Cabinet Ministers, 33 Non-Cabinet Ministers, 19 Deputy Ministers, 1 President, 2 brothers, 100s of Advisors, over 6000 self-hailing billboards, all this on a carefully calculated scientific basis.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Mahinda Chintana.
Yes it is indeed a new Sri Lanka under King Rajapakse, we now have:
A vibrant representative democracy –1 Minister per every 0.2 Million people– India can manage only 1 per every 14 million. No wonder there are bombs in Bombay!
A visionary economic plan spanning over 10 years of planned economic brilliance, all the soviets ever managed was 5 years.
A creative national security policy, 1 person disappears every hour. A truly home-grown solution to menace of terrorism.
All world leaders are now looking up to the chintanaya for answers to their present day crisis. So much so, the king has decided to publish his own book titled the ‘The Real MC: How I Pimped my country’.
Following is an extract from chapter 2: problem? what problem!
“..Is corruption a problem? Why not abolish the investigation body? Getting bashed in the media? Try arresting the editors. Your astrologers fear bad times? Change the time, stupid!. Miss your homies? Build the chaps an airport. Yes now they can fly into parties hosted in your official residence courtesy of the good people in The World Bank, the ADB, and of course your faithful tax payers. ..”
and chapter 4: Mihin-theroy
“..If you are the king, you really got to own your turf. So first, is the multimilliondollar marketing campaign. You have to make your homies feel you are with them; your figure must be visible from every street corner, roundabout and lamppost. Billboards are they way to go, statues are so Soviet Union. Every thing you do, have to scream it was done by you, launching your own Airline? Call it Mihin-Lanka, building a housing scheme? Name it mhindu-sevana, air purification project ? mihin-air…”
and Chapter 5: the Magic Word
“..if you learn only one phrase, let that be - ‘National Security’, now dig that. This is a life saver, yes it is these words that would justify anything and everything you do, it will justify inflation, abductions, shutting down your capital city, crooks in cabinet, yes absolutely anything!. The moment you or your merrymen utter these magic words, your peeps will start nodding. That’s right, time for some big time pimping..”
Many more chapters would be made available at a later date.
All proceeds would go into the ‘Helping Hambantota’ account for safe keeping on behalf of the good people in hambantota.
