He's a good looking Hooker, with a Real whip..

That's best one-liner I've ever heard about a Cricketer. Here's CricInfo on TM Dilshan:

..He is a good-looking hooker too, with a real whip in his arms when he does, but he is a compulsive one [..] it has ultimately led to his downfall [link]

I thank Andi S. for the pointer.

The upside of the Colombo Visa

Marking the International day of Peace, the Sri Lankan Police decided to launch registration of residents from the north currently staying as 'guests' in Colombo. The new Colombo Visa is complete with details such as purpose of visit, expiry date, etc. Those already having 'visas' will be able to confirm the validity of their documents. But that's not all, according to a report from the Sunday Observer,

Refreshments will be provided for the northern civilians who register themselves today with the police in the Western Province

Realiable sources say however, that the 'refreshments' consisted of bunty toffees. 

Holy.. Cat?

See this is why I hate cats. From the Daily Mirror

A cat in Ratnapura is wanted for swallowing jewellery worth thousands of rupees after it entered several houses uninvited and swallowed valuable rings and pendants lying around, police sources in Colombo quoted residents as saying.

Residents reported their missing items to the police early last week but were unable to identify the suspect.

However when contacted the Ratnapura police said they have some complaints of jewellery being missing but could not confirm an involvement of a cat.

The brown street cat, who had been roaming in the neighbourhood for over a month, was spotted swallowing the jewellery by a gardener who immediately narrated the incident to the house owners. The cat which carried out its crime in another house the following day was immediately caught red handed, swallowing a gold earring by three people who had been following the animal, but escaped unharmed when the men tried to grab it.

The hungry cat has not been spotted in the neighborhood since then. [link]

Maybe the JHU should just bring an Animal Disciplinary Act. Otherwise these cats nowadays..

Joseph Stalin is relentless

The story is from Saturday's Daily Mirror,

The Sri Lanka Teachers’ Union warned yesterday that it would go for a massive trade union action by bringing all teachers together.

Charging the government had hoodwinked the union and the general public by stating that it had resolved the salary anomalies, the Sri Lanka Teachers Union President, Joseph Stalin told a news conference under the government’s proposal a teacher would only get a salary increment ranging from Rs. 105 to Rs. 200. [..]

Mr. Stalin said the trade union action of refraining from GCE A/L paper marking had been successful during the past 10 days.

The Union charged the government was provoking the parents and the general public to unleash violence on the teachers. “The government is doing this as it is helpless without being able to resolve the salary crisis,” Mr. Stalin said. [link]

Responding to the charges, The secretary to the Ministry of Education, Winston Churchill said, "Stalin is a pig, but I like him". Ok, not really. But for what it's worth, Sri Lanka's tourism secretary is called George Micheal. I love this country.

[HT on Micheal: one one things]

Jack be Nimble, Jack be Quick, Jack suffers from a quick fire dick

That's from the Island's kiddies page yesterday. No kidding. The Island, of "Pubic Money" fame published this poem on it's children section, the Happy Island.


See this for a full page picture of the page which includes the poem. Heh. The kids these days I tell you...

The Island think it's the work of a net terrorist:

We wish to bring to the notice of our readers that there has been a sinister attempt by an unknown group to disrupt the operations of this newspaper and to tarnish its image through electronic means.

It all began in 2006, when a London-based correspondent warned us against such a move.

Recently, another newspaper, too, became a victim of hackers who tampered with its website.

The e-mail accounts of the editor and the features editor of The Island are the targets through which they sought to disrupt our system by transmitting specially designed programmes. We adopted precautions but we now learn that on Tuesday, when we usually print the children’s section issued on Thursday, we got badly beaten.

An infected junk document ate into an innocent poem that a young contributor had sent in to share with others, after the proof reading stage.

The ill effects of the attack were noticed yesterday as well in the main section of the paper but we managed to eliminate them in time for printing.

We have initiated a thorough investigation into the incident and apologise to our readers, especially children, for the mishap. [link]

Aney meh, editor, go to hell machang. Someone screwed up editing, admit that and move on, life's like that.

Update (2.20pm) : Some guy at groundviews points to the source of the rhymes which the Island copied from. There goes the whole "infected junk document ate into an innocent poem that a young contributor had sent in to share with others" stuff. I mean, anyone who has used a computer more than a week knows that's just pure B.S. This could be the site in which the Island 'journalist' lifted the poem from, pretending to be an innocent young contributor.

[more at Indi's, Ravana's and groundviews]

What I want for Easter

Is a Ganja Teddy. From the DM,

[..]in a surprising turn of events the Matara police found a teddy bear that could make the person who cuddles it “high”.

The novel way of hiding Ganja was discovered by the police when they found the teddy bear stuffed with a kilo of Ganja in the possession of an alleged Ganja kingpin of the area.

He was among ten young men who were arrested possessing a massive stock of ganja.[link]

I like your style maan.

A Very Pubic Mistake

Sanjana from Grounviews points out this WTF headline from the Island,


Aney Manda Sarath. Unfortunately, the Island site isn't into pubes quite like it's print-twin.

Update (03/06): Amit Varma points me to the Island Apology. Apparently Satan works there. No wonder..

President commended on human rights front

These days the DailyNews is the paper to read.

GENEVA: President Mahinda Rajapaksa who arrived in Geneva on Wednesday to attend the 96th ILO conference, held discussions with UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Louis Arbour.

President Rajapaksa came in for high praise by Arbour over steps taken by the Government to protect human rights amidst heightened acts of terrorism.

She also expressed her regret at the propaganda launched by various organisations to discredit the Lankan Government. [Link]

WTF you say? No they didn't hire the Guy who maintains brokennews to write in the daily news. it's the actual paper. we do live in rather interesting times. The editorial adds to the entertainment :

Foreign Minister Rohitha Bogollagama’s comments to The Korea Herald are both a transparent mirror to the situation in Sri Lanka as well as a lucid outline of the tasks awaiting the parties to our conflict.

Contrary to the misguided views aired in some quarters, the principal priority of the Government is a negotiated political solution.. [Link]

and these idiots get paid. I want my money back!

Thanks NM